Monday, July 02, 2018

Starfish

This is what life does. It lets you walk up to 
the store to buy breakfast and the paper, on a 
stiff knee. It lets you choose the way you have 
your eggs, your coffee. Then it sits a fisherman 
down beside you at the counter who say, Last night, 
the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder,
is this a message, finally, or just another day?

Life lets you take the dog for a walk down to the
pond, where whole generations of biological 
processes are boiling beneath the mud. Reeds
speak to you of the natural world: they whisper,
they sing. And herons pass by. Are you old 
enough to appreciate the moment? Too old?
There is movement beneath the water, but it 
may be nothing. There may be nothing going on.

And then life suggests that you remember the 
years you ran around, the years you developed
a shocking lifestyle, advocated careless abandon,
owned a chilly heart. Upon reflection, you are
genuinely surprised to find how quiet you have
become. And then life lets you go home to think
about all this. Which you do, for quite a long time.

Later, you wake up beside your old love, the one
who never had any conditions, the one who waited
you out. This is life’s way of letting you know that
you are lucky. (It won’t give you smart or brave,
so you’ll have to settle for lucky.) Because you 
were born at a good time. Because you were able 
to listen when people spoke to you. Because you
stopped when you should have and started again.

So life lets you have a sandwich, and pie for your
late night dessert. (Pie for the dog, as well.) And 
then life sends you back to bed, to dreamland, 
while outside, the starfish drift through the channel, 
with smiles on their starry faces as they head
out to deep water, to the far and boundless sea.

-- Eleanor Lerman

2 comments:

tedsmum said...

Beautiful, worth waking in the early hours to ponder on....xx

Katherine C. James said...

When I woke up early this morning to a sunny blue day seen through the green leaves filling my second-floor window, I thought about what to bring to a dinner party tomorrow, and what to pack for a month-long car trip I begin on Sunday, as my house-host brought me a cup of coffee before he went to breakfast with friends. I read my mail, and found your three misswhistle posts, Many Things, Starfish, This Present. Your writing reliably gives me new things to consider, which I appreciate; I love the flow from your LA reflections back to your early horse ride in the Chilterns, and I love and recognize the line in This Present, "the enormous blast of both optimism and smugness for being the first one up." I'm an urban person; I love spending time in open spaces, deserts and rocky, verdant canyons in particular, but I want to live up high looking out at a city. My morning commune with nature is rising early, opening my east-facing windows, and soaking in egg-yolk morning light or gray light or whatever the day offers. An eastern-exposure, as I had in Chicago looking out at Lake Michigan and in San Francisco looking out at the bay, is my one necessity for the next place I buy. Not easy, that, specific exposures. Your mother would have enjoyed the company of my parents who rose early and did not complain. I try to find the line between complaint and self-awareness added through frank conversations with people I love. Recently I have realized I want more quiet, more action. My favorite part of your three posts is the discovery of a poem I've never read before. I can always count on you for poetic delight. The lines, "This is what life does…Last night, the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder, is this a message…Are you old enough to appreciate the moment? Too old?…Upon reflection, you are genuinely surprised to find how quiet you have become…Because you were able to listen when people spoke to you. Because you stopped when you should have and started again…the starfish drift through the channel, with smiles on their starry faces as they head out to deep water, to the far and boundless sea." Such beauty from you in England. Love to you from another continent. P.S. It is a starfish time. Yesterday, I was exchanging metaphors for starry skies with Privilege. I loved the Hirsch line from In Spite of Everything, the Stars, "an ocean of starfish hung up to dry." We live in a world of beauty when we can relax into the moment. Mercurial or not. xo. "Because you stopped when you should have and started again."