Friday, April 30, 2010

Hello, I'm a Russian Contortionist

I was quite grateful to my mother who started me in ballet aged five with Mrs Behrens in Berkhamsted.  I danced through boarding school, although it progressed from arabesques to split runs and step-ball-change with Mrs Boyd, who had black liquid-lined eyes and a pixie haircut and imagined all of us as extras in a Bob Fosse movie. Thanks to this, I've always imagined myself a graceful person.  Yesterday, while clambering on a fence at the children's horse show, I fell, leaving, rather elegantly one leg suspended to the top rail (about 4 feet up in the air) and lacerated by a nylon/plastic zip tie and the other ripping through an old wooden box I'd used to climb on the fence, only to have a rusty nail slowly push its way down the front of my shin.  Standing there, left knee by my ear, other bleeding leg on the ground, like a Russian contortionist, wasn't the way that I really prefer the other horsey mothers to see me. It wasn't the pulled-together casual elegance I strive for, the West LA by way of England chic that I imagine myself exuding, effortlessly.  The shorts didn't help either.

"Wow, Mamma, I didn't know you could lift your leg so high" said my daughter loudly.  Other mothers looked over and tittered behind their organic paper cups of latte.  With as much grace as I could muster, I unhooked my Converse-clad foot from the top rail, smiled the smug smile of "I meant to do that; See how limber I am" and pretended to be very, very interested in the dog's collar.

4 comments:

Lickedspoon said...

West LA by way of England and Lucille Ball. Ouch. Hope it didn't hurt too much, or I'll feel guilty for smiling quite so hard at your predicament.

LPC said...

Adorable. How to be embarrassed by one's talents. But, wait, did you have to get a tetanus shot? Yikes.

Susan Champlin said...

Oh my god, I am SO, so sympathetic AND empathetic, as that would be me all over. And I do mean all over. Inanimate objects always seem to be flying out and clobbering me, as with the traffic cone that walked into me just the other day. Such rude behavior. I hope you and your ego are both all right today. (Rusty nail, yikes! Tetanus shot?) xo

Bumby Scott said...

HaHa....Ha Ha...