Wobbliness

Is this new-found wobbliness something to do with my youngest going to college in 6 days time? I wonder about that as I say blithely to people "Oh, it's time for her to go. I'm going to be fine." Being wobbly isn't something I'm used to. I think of myself as strong, firmly rooted in the ground, like a big old tree. She is spending her time watching Harry Potter movies and tearing up at them. I stare at her and wonder how on earth this small, blonde little girl who couldn't put on weight is suddenly a long-limbed athlete bound for Maine. We went to the pediatrician's office today for the obligatory physical, for the booster shot, for the "chat" about sex and drugs, and the doctor hugged her and choked back tears. "How is this possible?" she kept saying. I found myself staring at a baby in the waiting room, who'd just learned to walk and was sporting pink and black Bloch ballet shoes with elastic across the front, and a giant spotted ribbon in her hair. This child was once that age, pulling herself up on Briar, the patient black lab/rot who was our friend for fifteen years. Briar never complained. Sometimes Minky would fall asleep on her and they'd lay that way, snoring gently.

babygirl in malibu this weekend

I am making her a California mix list to take with her -- Beach Boys and Joni Mitchell and things we sing in the car together (like "Oklahoma!") so she doesn't forget that LA is her lady, and that the canyon will always be here, and Thistle and Dotsie and Bean.

People are in Martha's Vineyard and the Hamptons, and soon we will be in Maine, determined to find the best lobsta roll on the east coast, my beautiful girl and me. And we'll breathe in the salty Atlantic air and I'll try not to wobble any more than I have to.

I hope you're enjoying these last lazy days of summer wherever you are in the world. Keep your loved ones close. Remember (as I said in the last post, but I rather like to remind myself, so I shall repeat it):

Get up each day and start again. Breathe in, breathe out. Love more.