Nunc Dimmitis

 Three  Four things:

1) Listen to this Nunc Dimittis by Arvo Pärt. Sacred music at its very best.

2) I've plugged in a calming aromatherapy diffuser for my dog, full of "comforting pheromones for stressful situations." Somehow, they must create one for humans. It feels like what we need now (of course, paired with the Arvo Pärt).

3) On my walk this morning I was thinking about how boarding school drained all the joy and self esteem from me like a big fat happy balloon that has been pricked in many places with microscopic holes, that let the air out very, very slowly, so that your shoulders begin to round, your mouth starts to turn down, and you fold in on yourself in an attempt at self-protection.

4) Everyone needs a cheerleader; someone who tells you that you're clever, and smart and beautiful. Many, many years ago, my ex-husband was the one who started to patch over all those tiny holes in my balloon and blew me up again, so I could float smilingly above the world, with the birds, part of the whole, wondrous murmuration.

Meanwhile, there is a carpet of pale lilac crocii underneath the trees. When the sun comes out, they open their arms and reach out toward it, a million little warmth and light devotees. Daffodils have begun to open, vivid, brilliant golden yellow, the color of Cinderella's dress in my childhood book of fairy tales. There is hope again. We've made it through December and January.

I hope you are all staying well and that you and your families and loved ones are safe. Sending you all love.