Today I am resolute and circumspect (no surprise there: see yesterday's post.)
I expected to be a mess but after a sleepless night and an awesome session of yoga this morning, a house full of young, lots of water, and the realization that I have done everything I can, I feel okay.
Of course, losing in love sucks. And if I think about it too much the waterworks start (as in yoga this morning, but luckily my mat was situated next to a box of kleenex).
We are human. We are fragile. This is indisputable.
And unfortunately I belong to that group of "sensitive" human beings that feels everything, often too much.
But, it's a matter of perspective. And if your vantage point sees the world as teeming in possibility, the break-up of a relationship that wasn't meant to be actually opens your eyes to myriad other paths. (At least, this is what I tell myself at 1.58pm on a Monday afternoon, while I eat my cold potato salad and tomatoes.) If you know that you have done everything possible to make something work but it's still not working, then what else can you do but move on. Lick your wounds, yes, but move on.
I rather like this from Neruda (I rather like most things from Neruda):
Forget (and forgive) with generosity, those who cannot love us.
I like cannot. They are not capable of the love that you need. It's not -- as my American friends like to say -- a fit.
Square peg: round hole.
What I'm really saying is, let's not waste these summer days. There is stone fruit, and the ocean, and good friends, Rilke, Neruda, Knausgaard, the Hollywood Bowl, dogs, figs, Cadbury's chocolate bars, laughter, music, dancing, the sound of birdsong, memories to be made.
Have a lovely day and thank you, once again, for the support.