So I took the plunge. I signed up on match.com. I figured that 15 months single was quite long enough and as no-one had come along -- not a walker, not a gigolo -- I should take the matter into my own hands. I picked the user name "emmapeel". I thought that was awfully funny until it was rejected. Match.com thoughtfully suggested "tenderemmapeel" or "adventurousbeetle". I kid you not.
After much editing and sending my profile back and forth to trusted male friends we came up with something that seemed honest yet plausible, witty yet warm and unfortunately I was vetoed in my desire to use my new favorite phrase "Argo fuck yourself" in my profile description. My friend Chris pointed out that saying "this is the strangest thing I have ever done" sounded as I were 80 because, darling, all the kids are online dating nowadays.
My first email came from Hector in Duarte. The subject line read "Let's go Shorty. Time to get back in the saddle." How does he know? I thought.
My misadventures will be shares with you, dear reader. I hope I can count on your discretion.
Mum's the word.
Onward and upward.
-- Emma Peel