Thursday, October 18, 2012

The perfect match

So I took the plunge. I signed up on match.com. I figured that 15 months single was quite long enough and as no-one had come along -- not a walker, not a gigolo -- I should take the matter into my own hands. I picked the user name "emmapeel". I thought that was awfully funny until it was rejected. Match.com thoughtfully suggested "tenderemmapeel" or "adventurousbeetle". I kid you not.

After much editing and sending my profile back and forth to trusted male friends we came up with something that seemed honest yet plausible, witty yet warm and unfortunately I was vetoed in my desire to use my new favorite phrase "Argo fuck yourself" in my profile description. My friend Chris pointed out that saying "this is the strangest thing I have ever done" sounded as I were 80 because, darling, all the kids are online dating nowadays.

My first email came from Hector in Duarte. The subject line read "Let's go Shorty. Time to get back in the saddle." How does he know? I thought.

My misadventures will be shares with you, dear reader. I hope I can count on your discretion.

Mum's the word.

Onward and upward.

-- Emma Peel

6 comments:

Katherine C. James said...

Ah, you are brave Emma, but then you are Emma Peel. Presently, I'm content to be on my own, or in the company of friends. I'm enjoying being single; I hope I'm not becoming a misanthrope. I look forward to tales of your adventures in this new land.

P.S. Adventurousbeetle?

k said...

Oh dear Miss Whistle your brave, new adventure is bracing! I am eagerly anticipating details. You shall be a trail blazer for those of us still too timid to test the waters.I'm inspired. You are super fly, so the matches should be multitude! Have a freaking blast and take a little of that woman who set straight the bitchy neighbor along for the ride-she is a keeper.

Moonboots said...

Brilliant. I put a friend on my single friend.com hoping to hear about all his adventures but he met his Mrs on the first date. They are now happily married and very well suited. Would not have considered each other across a bar but perfect match in life. I am so looking forward to hearing all your dating adventures. Good luck and have fun.

materfamilias said...

my early-30s daughter is settling in with the loveliest fellow whom she met online, and a close GF, after having some fun dating for months and months, has been several years now with a very good fit of a guy with whom she's bought & shares a home. Wishing you at least as much dating fun as either of those two had . . .

tedsmum said...

Go for it Miss Whistle, everyone's doing it and some friends of mine have ended up 'happily ever after'. Good luck and pass on a few tantalising snippets to the Austenites amongst your followers..

Tania Kindersley said...

I very, very much want you to be an adventurous beetle. Hurrah for the bold beetles. Just the kind of thing Darwin would have said. xx